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What It Really Takes To Be “Real Men” – A Poem By Harry Baker

  • May 21, 2023
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I am a man sometimes I put my
manhood on display like going
skinny-dipping in the sea on New Year’s
Day I’ve gone up for thirds in an
all-you-can-eat buffet and I have not
one story about how much I weigh I am a
man sometimes I do manly things not to
prove you on my man but that’s just part
of what it brings when I stay at playing
FIFA on my ps3 till 4:00 it’s not
because I’m insecure it’s because it’s fun
some say that real men are brave men and
brave men a cave men and cave men and
men who do not really show emotion a
season think is real there’s something
you can feel and that could be love
faith fear or uncertainty cause real men
have issues and real men cry that’s why
they make man size tissues for their
man-sized eyes and I cry quite a lot and
in this day and age the man’s eyes are
dry not the times that he may be gay but
I am NOT ladies I like a girl I just cry
like a girl at certain things in the
hurt it brings on my main form of
catharsis is Pixarflix
the reason that I see them in the
cinemas is so you cannot see my tears
behind those 3D glasses because I broke
down in Up
and I wept in Toy Story 3 was on the
brink in monsters inc an casted the same
thing to me were watching Wall-E I wasn’t
worried about you’re my friends Willy to
speak because something can that
animation was an emotional trigger you
may snigger we see these guns are not
the manliest but I figure that in the
best way to measure manliness because
real men have issues and real men quiets
way to make man size tissues not to be
misused by never been kissed use and
develop room searching YouTube for big
boobs but for the man sighs tears that
run from man-sized
eyes and the last one I use is watching
the news when the story came through
with a kid named Jordan Rice in
Australia in the worst floods in years
that reduce many men to floods of tears
and face with death he didn’t hesitate
or take a breath just gave his life for
his brother so I cried for the brother
who died for another age 13 the age of
boy steps into manhood if you could fill
his boots as well as any man could cause
real men are brave right but it don’t
get much braver see us on 23 still not
the most prolific shaver if anything I
only really weakly need a razor
maybe bi-weekly and not as in twice
weekly as in once every two weeks
possibly slightly longer sometimes I am
too weak and I wish it could be stronger
I did Movember and nobody even noticed
twice
but know this I am a man as they’re
about half of you regardless is been
doing press ups will often in when I was
13 I stand on my head to the sky wears
green and the grass was blue then
somewhere in this path they grew so yes
I’m still a kid at heart and not ready
to grow up and if I go to Nando’s isn’t
too much coke and throw up but here’s
something we can raise those refillable
glasses too
because growing up is something not
every kid gets a chance to do
thank you


Performed at Watershed, Bristol and from Raise the Bar channel.

In this work of art by Harry Baker, he defined the definition of “Real Men” through slam poetry. A sense of strong emotions is brought out through this piece. Tackling on the feelings of being a man.


See more of Harry Baker’s works here.

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  • Harry Baker
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